Real Hexadecimal Numbers Have Curves

by Andrew Martin

37-24-35  38-26-37  41-25-38  35-25-35  36-25-36  37-26-45  34-24-35  34-26-38  36-26-40
These are the "measurements" of famous, beautiful, curvy celebrities: Madonna, Kate Upton, Dolly Parton, Lynda Carter, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Beyoncé, and Kim Kardashian.

I was always perplexed as a kid when men fantasized over numbers like these. They were too abstract, I was too young to understand, and they seemed to be bantered about by the type of guys who also traded baseball and other sports statistics with each other that got decoded in their meaty heads into an actual performance, and in the case of the women's measurements, erotic visions of impossible pin-up girls. Maybe a lonely submarine sailor sending Rita Hayworth's 36-24-36 and other "bomber girls" measurements by Morse code to another poor enlisted seaman was the first instance of electronic sexting. Which reminds me of an article I once read about two former American servicemen who returned to Plzeň a half a century after liberating the Czech city during WWII. One shouted to the other "Incoming at 11 o'clock!" and his buddy spun around in time to catch a glimpse a Slavic beauty pass by.

I recently wondered if arrangements of these six numbers correlated to anything other than womanly curves. How might they look as a patch of RGB color space values? I envisioned a psychedelic matrix of hot pinks and purples.

When I tried that all I got was a dull grid of bluish black squares except for one slightly brighter area because Nick Minaj's big butt bumped up the blue value. A little disappointed by this, I converted the inches to centimeters and entered those values as RGB: a little lighter and brighter with a bump again from Minaj's rump. So I decided to switch over to CMYK color space and alter the K (black) value by another measurement unique to each woman. The greater the value of K, the darker the box.

The first time I did this, I used height as the variable, which is why the just-shy-of-six-foot Kate Upton (top middle of the left matrix) is the darkest. The next box, centered here, uses weight as a variable. And finally the far right box uses age as the variable, which is probably the most interesting of all the matrices because even though Dolly Parton, Lynda Carter, and Madonna are all attractive older ladies, there is a real sense of mortality in the darkening of the squares.

Despite all the variations I was still disappointed and was hoping for something more insightful. I tried placing the numbers as global coordinates such as 36°25'36" but the South West coordinates dropped everyone in the South Atlantic Ocean, South East in the Indian Ocean, and North West smack in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. 

And then finally, miraculously, the North East coordinates parachuted these beauties into Turkish territories, with Dolly Parton busting into neighboring Georgia. Maybe she figured Nashville was just a short haul from there. 

Most surprisingly, Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian were strategically positioned near the Syrian border not far from Aleppo. Maybe this new information will help Gary Johnson, the Libertarian Party candidate for US president, to remember this location of this war-torn Syrian city.

Putting Art into Perspective

by Andrew Martin

Mathematics is an abstract language created by humans, which interprets universal patterns. It started in the physical/visual world as a way to quantify things: land, livestock, building materials, etc. Through its abstraction and withdrawal from specific computations it evolved to stand on its own as mathematics for mathematics' sake.

I recently watched the four-part BBC documentary, The Story of Maths, presented by Oxford professor Marcus du Sautoy, who does a great job of crunching the history of math into four hours, while taking the viewer around the world.

I tuned into the series more as visual thinker than as a mathematician. It is easy enough to see how a quantity (of whatever) can be represented with symbols. Sautoy offers that even 0 as a symbol for nothing, a concept that eluded the early mathematicians including the Greeks and Chinese, may have come from the circular divet that was left in the earth when a counting stone was removed from its place.

What I found most interesting is that while some mathematics can be visualized, most situations are formalized through a formula. That is, except for perspective, whose solution was in the command of vanishing points. Of course there are numbers behind that system but it was a case of mathematics whose problem arose through two-dimensional representation of a three-dimensional world, but was solved through a purely mechanical act by artists.

Basic geometry is a very visual kind of math but the question is, which came first the shape or the possibility of the shape? With a set of numbers/coordinates I can generate a shape but I can also create a shape that calls into play a set of numbers. Are the geometric forms we observe and (re)create merely byproducts of these "numbers" or do the shapes create a case for the numbers? Or is it that they are one in the same - the same information that can be represented visually or numerically?

[image source: http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Perspective.html]

That being said, the geometry of a cube is very different than the geometry behind the workings of perspective because in a cube the lines of opposing sides are parallel but through perspective they are angled to one, two, or three vanishing points. What this means though is that I can never observe a true cube because I will always be influenced by a perceived perspective.

A working perspective was not developed until the early Renaissance and was hailed as a truth. Ironically, within a few hundred years it became reputed as a lie. It seems, however, that the trickery is in our skewed observation: our stereoscopic eyes and visually comprehensive minds create an illusion that is as false in reality as it is on a wall or a canvas.

In terms of art history it is interesting to note that the use of perspective was often not used merely to recreate an environment so much as it was a way to create a more believable world to tell a story, especially one that no one was still around to refute. Pictured above is Raphael's School of Athens, completed in 1511 to depict a hypothetical mashup of ancient philosophers.

I find that the most interesting use of perspective was by the surrealists, who did not abandon it during Cubism, Abstract and other movements, because it gave them the power to create a space for their strange worlds, as we see 420 years later with Salvador Dalí's The Persistence of Memory.